VOLLEYBALL: From outsider to leader, Claremore's Baughman finds where she belongs
· Yahoo Sports
There was a time when Grace Baughman couldn't even find a place to sit at the lunch table.
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Now, she is helping lead one of the best volleyball teams in Claremore history.
The senior setter's journey hasn't always been easy. Long before she became a key part of the Lady Zebras' fourth consecutive state tournament appearance, Baughman was a middle school student struggling to make friends, wondering why fitting in seemed to come so naturally to everyone else.
She remembers being excluded from a lunch table in eighth grade. For the remainder of that school year, she ate with her physical education teacher.
It was a painful experience, but one that ultimately helped shape her perspective on friendship, teamwork and the importance of knowing her own worth.
And as she prepares to close her high school career, Baughman has found something she once struggled to find.
A place where she belongs.
"I'm just so grateful for this whole season of my high school career, and I don't want to be anywhere else," Baughman said.
The road to Claremore began in Edmond, where Baughman was born, before her family moved to Choctaw.
After second grade, she relocated to Collinsville, where she attended school through seventh grade. Those years weren't particularly easy socially.
"I had about one true friend," Baughman said. "I was kind of a weird kid, if you will. I was trying to figure out what I wanted to do. I was in choir, but I wasn't really involved in sports.
"I was kind of just the weird outcast kid, almost, if you will. It kind of sucked because I didn't understand why."
Baughman participated in several activities, including competitive swimming, before beginning volleyball in seventh grade.
When her family moved to Claremore before eighth grade, she hoped the change might provide a fresh start. Instead, she encountered another difficult adjustment.
She initially made a close friend, but that friendship was interrupted when the other student moved away.
Then came the lunchroom experience.
"You know how middle school girls are. They're harsh. They're rude," Baughman said.
The experience left her with a disgust for school cafeterias, but it also taught her an important lesson about relationships.
"It took me a long time to figure out that not everybody wants to be your friend," she said. "I'll be friendly to everybody, but I'm not super close with everybody."
That doesn't mean she approaches her teammates with anything less than complete commitment.
"When we're on the court together, I'm there," Baughman said. "But I can't put so much effort into a friendship that the other person doesn't want."
It is a philosophy that reflects how much she has grown since those difficult middle school years. Today, Baughman doesn't have to worry about finding somewhere to sit during lunch.
As a senior with off-campus privileges, she spends that time with someone who has played an especially important role in her life.
Her mother, Niki.
"I go and eat lunch with my mom every day," Baughman said.
Their relationship extends well beyond the lunch hour. Baughman's mother also serves as one of her volleyball coaches, a dynamic that might seem challenging to some athletes.
But Baughman sees it differently.
When asked whether there are any disadvantages to having her mother as a coach, she didn't hesitate.
"I personally don't see any cons," she said.
In fact, Baughman believes the arrangement has made her a better player and person.
Rather than expecting special treatment because of their relationship, she has learned that her place on the team must be earned and continually justified through her performance and effort.
"She helped me become the athlete I am today, and she helped me see what a good teammate is supposed to look like and what the standard looks like," Baughman said.
"She helped me grow so much as an athlete, and that helped me become a better person. Life's not just going to give you things. You have to earn everything in life. So I don't see any cons to it, honestly."
That perspective has helped Baughman become part of a Claremore program enjoying an unprecedented stretch of success.
Under coach Derek Jackson, the Lady Zebras have qualified for four consecutive state tournaments, the longest streak in school history.
This year's team entered the Class 5A state tournament ranked No. 2 with a 28-9 record, giving Baughman and her teammates an opportunity to pursue the program's first appearance in a state championship match.
For Baughman, the experience has provided more than an opportunity to compete at a high level. It has also given her a sense of stability after a childhood marked by moves and the challenges of building friendships.
Much of her extended family remains hundreds of miles away.
Relatives are scattered across Indiana, Ohio and Michigan, making it difficult for them to attend her matches.
Although the distance can be difficult, she doesn't question their support.
"Usually my grandpa and some of his neighborhood friends will watch the livestreams to be able to see some of the things that we do," Baughman said. "I know that they support me from how far away they are. I think they definitely do want to come see me. It's just so hard because of their age and other factors up there."
Baughman has lived in Oklahoma her entire life, though she grew up making regular trips north to visit relatives.
Her family once traveled to see her grandparents every other Christmas, but those visits became less frequent after her grandmother was diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease. Her grandmother recently died, and the family gathered for a celebration of life rather than a traditional funeral.
For Baughman, those family connections remain important even when the miles make maintaining them difficult, and as she prepares for the next chapter of her life, she has found a way to stay relatively close to home.
Baughman recently committed to play college volleyball at Northeastern State University in Tahlequah, where she will join the RiverHawks' new volleyball program.
The opportunity immediately caught her attention.
"The moment I found out they were starting a volleyball program, I was just so excited," Baughman said. "It's close to home, but it's not so close."
The decision wasn't based solely on athletics.
Baughman also considered the financial implications of attending college and the opportunity to pursue her education without accumulating significant debt. She qualifies for Oklahoma's Promise, a state scholarship program that helps eligible students cover college tuition.
"My goal is to be as debt-free as I can, so I wanted to stay in Oklahoma," she said.
NSU's location and new volleyball program offered an appealing combination.
Baughman was interested enough that she reached out to the university's athletic department before the program hired coach Maria Jacobus.
She also learned that she would have some familiar faces waiting for her in Tahlequah, including acquaintances Claremore alum Ella Ramsey and Devine Okon from Broken Arrow.
"Knowing that I have some people I know there, I'm so excited," she said.
And as her high school career draws to a close, there is no question about where she wants to be.
Right where she is.