What Is ‘Freefall Dating’? The Risky Dating Trend Experts Warn Against.
· Vice
More singles are seeking risky dating partners just to experience an adrenaline spike. In fact, there’s a new (sometimes dangerous) dating trend called “freefall dating” that’s taking over the dating scene, and it’s not one you’ll want to involve yourself in.
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What Is Freefall Dating?
Freefall dating is the type of dating that gives you a similar adrenaline rush that a “free fall” would offer. Also called “voltage dating,” this trend involves seeking out risky romantic situations/partners, like pursuing your coworker or hitting on your friend’s ex (ew—don’t do that).
“Voltage dating can absolutely be a way of opting out of vulnerability, and people might pursue it if they have a history of relationships with emotionally unavailable partners,” says Angelika Koch, Relationships & Breakup Expert at Taimi. “These extreme highs and lows you experience in this can feel addicting. It allows you to dive into the fantasy of that person without needing to face the reality that comes with it because you never go deeper than surface level.”
Oftentimes, what you’re experiencing isn’t actually emotional connection or even romantic chemistry. It’s mere adrenaline. This disconnect from our emotions often even causes us to outsource our gut instincts. For example, rather than relying on their intuition, many singles are turning to AI or even tarot cards for relationship advice and insight. There’s a reason why so many of those TikTok tarot readers are thriving.
“People turn to tarot AI when they feel they need additional validation for a decision they have already made,” says Koch. “Where they get their validation from doesn’t matter. In tarot, you might experience cognitive bias and read what you want to read from the cards. On the other hand, AI is just a giant mirror reflecting back your own thoughts to you.”
Why Is Freefall Dating So Common?
If you want my non-professional opinion, I believe this dating trend is common because too many people are chasing highs. Thanks to social media platforms like TikTok, we’re used to constant entertainment and adrenaline spikes. Think about it: Many of us reach for our phones and consume emotionally stimulating content before even getting out of bed in the morning. Eventually, we might subconsciously begin to seek out drama, especially in our closest relationships.
“Dating isn’t the problem; the lack of awareness regarding why someone makes certain choices is, because that lack of awareness can lead you down a destructive path,” says Koch.
Additionally, relying on external validation will only create more of a disconnect between yourself and your genuine feelings.
“If you consistently lean on everyone else to make decisions for you or to validate your own decisions, you continue the pattern of not trusting yourself,” says Koch. “It’s okay to feel uncertain about something, but work on learning to trust yourself instead of consistently trusting outside sources.”
Often, when you sit with your own feelings and reflect on why, exactly, you are attracted to someone who is available or simply isn’t good for you, you start to pick up on your own negative patterns. Maybe you’re trying to fill a void in your life by creating unnecessary drama for yourself, or perhaps the thrill of the chase makes you feel more desirable once you get that off-limits person.
Whatever the case, practice self-awareness before freefall dating into a dark place.
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